Last night, as I was waiting up for the midnight test (read, waiting to see if the 1 unit of novorapid brought Reubs into his bedtime range of 8-10mmol/l, which it DID bring him from 18.7 to 10.2, where he held all night), I was flicking around on the tv, trying to find something to watch. Deciding upon a re-run-of-a-re-runned (?) episode of Sex and the City, I was thinking how much Carrie Bradshaw and I have in common.
Ya right. Absolutely nothing.
Our lives couldnt be any more polar opposite. I was whisked into a world of glitzy escapism albeit for half an hour.
She has glamorous shoes, I have some trusty thongs for gardening.
She has manicures and I have cracked skin from a God awful long winter.
Carrie juggles cocktail parties and gallery openings and I juggle insulin doses with school fetes, bookweek parade costumes and trips to the grocery store!
Ms Bradshaw had, in this epidsode, a dilemma with having both Mr Big and Aiden in her bed in the same 48 hour period... I have issues in my bed when I roll over and the dog accidentally falls on the floor.
There was a time long long ago about when dinosaurs roamed the earth.... (okay that was a tad dramatic) but it does seem like ancient history! When I had ALOT of time on my hands. I could prepare myself healthy foods, calmy take my supplements, clean my home at 11pm if I chose, soak in the bath, think and read uninteruppted by little people, go to the gym morning and night, go out to dinner with friends after working afternoon shift.
That was a different season. A season where popular culture seemed to matter. When I considered the vanilla or the camel skirt a crucial decision. When climbing the corporate ladder and adding to my portfolio seemed to matter. A real valuable time in my life when I could go to church twice a week, read my bible plenty. A time when my body hadnt been ravaged by the rigors of birthing 9lb babies and the subsequent sleep deprivation which slithers into the birthing suites and clasps your hand and sneakily becomes your partner in motherhood.
So Im tapping away at my blog early morning because I have a head cold which just makes laying horizontally impossible to breathe.
Life has changed alot.
Somewhere in all this hard work with parenting is a joy so full your heart wants to explode. Thats how we Mummies keep on keeping on! My family has been truly blessed this year with my eldest son being under the tutelage of a wonderful teacher. She has a gift of seeing a child for who they really are and bringing out the best in them so that they have a strong foundation for learning. Last night we had parent teacher interviews and my eldest baby got a rave review! - and I have to say that I dont want Carrie's Manolo Blahniks (maybe just for a day, but I'd give them back in exchange for my functional footwear)... The life I have now, the three engergetic sweet children God has blessed me with... Diabetes and all...
Theres no comparison. Life is richer, Im a better person as I help them grow.
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Thursday, September 15, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
the huge-est egg and lots of hypos
Im trying to cut back on both carbs and insulin. I gotta say no to the other kids regarding food, alot. I have to stop what Im doing... to test, to treat hypos, to think about food MORE than before. More substituting depending where hes at, and what hes doing. Im getting less sleep than before if that was humanly possible. Preparing myself for the rigors of the pump!
Today Im just ticked off, not being able to just enjoy my daughters music class. I mean, Im chasing my type1 around just generally resenting diabetes, thinking surely this behaviour is due to being HIGH, that ticked me off more. Turns out he was dropping with the activity, on his way to a hypo and Im pulling him off a chair as hes about to dive out the window. Grabbing him by his coat to stop him running off into the carpark. Toddler behaviour and D together just blows. Its hard work. He slept through last night, no breast feeding so self weaning is finally happening, and I was up every 3 hours, irrationally of course, testing. He held.
Every day at lunch weve got hypos to treat before he can eat real food. I hate that I have to give full sugar anything to my not yet 2 year old.
Weve had a 1.9 which is the second lowest reading we've had since Diabetes showed up. Hubby had just left the house for a night at a Thai boxing gig and I was wrapping up my jam making for the afternoon. It was comical, jam and jars and boiling water bath, jar and lid lifters and tongs and towels. Damn its messy work. I actually had Reubs in my mind, thinking I'll tidy up here and go to where hes napping and pop a quick test.
I wasnt expecting a 1.9, as only 2 hours earlier he had registered as 10.2. Perfect to go down to a nap at. Guess the read wasnt from slow acting carbs? Anyway, I heard my dog make a short sharp woof at the bedroom door. Obviously she was calling me. Shes done this before after staking vigil at Reubens bedside.
I tip toe in, and I see him laying peacefully, but something is different. Hes twitching. His tiny little hand shakes and I get a shot of adrenalin, grab him a drink and he sculls the whole thing. Then I test him. About 10 mins passes and thats when I get the 1.9. He begins to scream, obviously the sugar is kicking in and hes confused. This is the stage when I have to get aggressive to get the sugar into him, he refuses and hes strong. Flailing and vocal and glucogel is spread all up his face and hair after spitting it back at me. The reading isnt budging.
It takes 30mins and a bunch of dodgy readings to get him back up to a 7.8.
The peace I made with D is fleeting. Today I loathe it. A big ugly cry and a call to hubby for some comforting words, and now an arvo storm... the world seems better.
Slow living is going great. Its helping on the D front.
Today we collected our second egg (they are BIG eggs) from our chooks. So nice to be part of the chain again, plugged into food production, the earth, simpler methods of living. Less rush and complication and more peace and quiet. Amen to that !
Today Im just ticked off, not being able to just enjoy my daughters music class. I mean, Im chasing my type1 around just generally resenting diabetes, thinking surely this behaviour is due to being HIGH, that ticked me off more. Turns out he was dropping with the activity, on his way to a hypo and Im pulling him off a chair as hes about to dive out the window. Grabbing him by his coat to stop him running off into the carpark. Toddler behaviour and D together just blows. Its hard work. He slept through last night, no breast feeding so self weaning is finally happening, and I was up every 3 hours, irrationally of course, testing. He held.
Every day at lunch weve got hypos to treat before he can eat real food. I hate that I have to give full sugar anything to my not yet 2 year old.
Weve had a 1.9 which is the second lowest reading we've had since Diabetes showed up. Hubby had just left the house for a night at a Thai boxing gig and I was wrapping up my jam making for the afternoon. It was comical, jam and jars and boiling water bath, jar and lid lifters and tongs and towels. Damn its messy work. I actually had Reubs in my mind, thinking I'll tidy up here and go to where hes napping and pop a quick test.
I wasnt expecting a 1.9, as only 2 hours earlier he had registered as 10.2. Perfect to go down to a nap at. Guess the read wasnt from slow acting carbs? Anyway, I heard my dog make a short sharp woof at the bedroom door. Obviously she was calling me. Shes done this before after staking vigil at Reubens bedside.
I tip toe in, and I see him laying peacefully, but something is different. Hes twitching. His tiny little hand shakes and I get a shot of adrenalin, grab him a drink and he sculls the whole thing. Then I test him. About 10 mins passes and thats when I get the 1.9. He begins to scream, obviously the sugar is kicking in and hes confused. This is the stage when I have to get aggressive to get the sugar into him, he refuses and hes strong. Flailing and vocal and glucogel is spread all up his face and hair after spitting it back at me. The reading isnt budging.
It takes 30mins and a bunch of dodgy readings to get him back up to a 7.8.
The peace I made with D is fleeting. Today I loathe it. A big ugly cry and a call to hubby for some comforting words, and now an arvo storm... the world seems better.
Slow living is going great. Its helping on the D front.
Today we collected our second egg (they are BIG eggs) from our chooks. So nice to be part of the chain again, plugged into food production, the earth, simpler methods of living. Less rush and complication and more peace and quiet. Amen to that !
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
We're in the process of testing out a quite rigid routine of eating with Reubs (and the other kids) in hopes of lowering his hba1c. I guess what it boils down to is if the tools we have arent working out, and weve done our best, then its off to the pump. Its hard because the child has so many hypos, you'd think his overall measures would be lower. This truly is the best course of action, for Reuben, my fears and reservations aside, he learns better and behaviourly a treasure - when hes in range.
Hubby discussed with the endo actually getting fast tracked through another hospital, and being slightly out of pocket, we could be pumping within 4 weeks if we say the word. SO- Im working on a plan of 12 weeks of this strict living (probably easy and normal for alot of you, but a learning curve for me and my crew!).
Thanks for your comments on my last post, its the push I needed to get moving. So tell me what you think of this idea. Reubs is 15kg (33lbs for you in pound-land), so he needs roughly 500cals a day(?) well, thats what Im working with anyway.
That equates to (another rough) estimate of 60grams of carbohydrates spread out over a day. Im thinking to make it easy to start just give the main meals 15g each, 1 serve, and see how he goes actually digesting this food. I think this part will be challenging. He loves to play with food stuffs so it could be disastrous. But hey, I gotta try.
Then Ive (on paper) allocated 7gram snacks to morning tea, arvo tea, and supper I imagine these ones to be easily done as its part of his grazing habit now. So thats a grand total of 45 grams at mains and 21 grams at snacks equalling 66grams for the day.
Im testing out an I:C ratio of 1u NR: 2serves of carbs. Our correction factor seems right on for now, so im leaving that as 1/2 u NR reduces blood glucose by 4mmol/l. Sick of the sliding scale system!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
A post with no name
Im going through a stage where I dont exactly recognise myself.
Im not wanting to think about diabetes any more than I have to, yet I do think about it all the time! Where I go through the motions of what I need to do, yet theres more and Im too tired to face it so Im on autopilot.
Am I alone in this exhaustion?
The three monthly appointment was so stressful for me I literally ran the opposite direction and let my dear husband handle it. He says to the endo that I interpret their manner as criticism. I probably have to grow up. But where do I get those additional rescources from? We are on the same team, afterall but the tools they've given us arent working. I want to cry when I almost beg them for an I:C and am told no, a sliding scale will do.
The waiting in the queue. S T R E S S. Too much , that I dont need. A two hour wait with 2 kids under 3. OH dear Lord. Who is this person?
Ive had to cut so much extra baggage in my life in order to handle diabetes. People. Activities. As Ive said previously, drama (that comes with the people) and the like - all gotta go. I look at it like a sinking ship, its going down slowing, a pin prick in the bottom, but surely as day turns to night, the water is seeping in. So you GET RID of baggage. Off the side of the boat it goes!
Sadly, my blog has also taken a back seat, not permanently, just so I can come up for air.
Ive been in a camping chair, kicking back, watching the storm clouds roll in and scoping out our new chickens, Polly, Molly and Dolly, scratching around their new coop. Now, they have to be the easiest and calmest backyard pets. Im envious of the simplicity of their lives.
Im not wanting to think about diabetes any more than I have to, yet I do think about it all the time! Where I go through the motions of what I need to do, yet theres more and Im too tired to face it so Im on autopilot.
Am I alone in this exhaustion?
The three monthly appointment was so stressful for me I literally ran the opposite direction and let my dear husband handle it. He says to the endo that I interpret their manner as criticism. I probably have to grow up. But where do I get those additional rescources from? We are on the same team, afterall but the tools they've given us arent working. I want to cry when I almost beg them for an I:C and am told no, a sliding scale will do.
The waiting in the queue. S T R E S S. Too much , that I dont need. A two hour wait with 2 kids under 3. OH dear Lord. Who is this person?
Ive had to cut so much extra baggage in my life in order to handle diabetes. People. Activities. As Ive said previously, drama (that comes with the people) and the like - all gotta go. I look at it like a sinking ship, its going down slowing, a pin prick in the bottom, but surely as day turns to night, the water is seeping in. So you GET RID of baggage. Off the side of the boat it goes!
Sadly, my blog has also taken a back seat, not permanently, just so I can come up for air.
Ive been in a camping chair, kicking back, watching the storm clouds roll in and scoping out our new chickens, Polly, Molly and Dolly, scratching around their new coop. Now, they have to be the easiest and calmest backyard pets. Im envious of the simplicity of their lives.
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