Thursday, September 6, 2012


This blog is a ramble.   Three or four ideas in one because Im tired.  
(Im always tired.)   
Sometimes caring for Reubens diabetes is like having another child to take care of.  
Its needy and demanding and stomps and rants.   Its constancy is exhausting.  
Even though its a part of him, when I think of my son, diabetes is like somehow a seperate thing.   A compartment I can tend to and then keep on treating him like a normal child.   As normal as can be, considering.   With his multiple daily injections I will be honest and say its morphed into a highly routinised life - despite what they told us at diagnosis.  Hes finally eating a full sandwich, or full serving of breakfast cereal.   Amounts I can quantify and carb count more accurately.   Full units of insulin that fit with those meals.   
YAY for that.  
2 years coming.  Props Reubs :)   
Right in time for his 3rd Birthday! 
I think back to the difficulty of all those 'guessed' quarter units with a syringe and wonder how we did it.  Shovelling food back into a cup to re measure and finally guess what he ate.  Then a guess at how much insulin to give to match the guessed food intake (argh!).   This picture below reminds me of the full first year.   I felt ragged.   Like I wasnt going to make it through.     

We did make it through.  D-Parents do it tough.  Anyone that says differently hasnt walked a mile in our shoes.
When I sneak into his room to poke his fingers through the night, I hold my breath.  I check hes breathing.  I look for the rise and fall of his little chest.   I peek at his hands to see if hes twitching or shaking.   He remains asleep but must sense my presence and  holds a finger out for me.   He inadvertantly begins sucking because this is our routine.   I feed him carbs in his sleep to stop his blood sugar dropping dangerously low.    And, I kiss his soft button nose, and chubby cheeks.    I hold his hand and he wraps his fingers inside mine.  Sweet Jesus look after my baby tonight help him wake safely in the morning.  The gravity of the disease is heavy.  He trusts me to keep him alive.   He does as I say and endures the needles, the pokes, shovels in the sugar to treat lows.   Lord, please never let me let him down.    Simple prayers, but desperate and full of love.

So far, we're a good team. 

Love to you all xx