Im trying to cut back on both carbs and insulin. I gotta say no to the other kids regarding food, alot. I have to stop what Im doing... to test, to treat hypos, to think about food MORE than before. More substituting depending where hes at, and what hes doing. Im getting less sleep than before if that was humanly possible. Preparing myself for the rigors of the pump!
Today Im just ticked off, not being able to just enjoy my daughters music class. I mean, Im chasing my type1 around just generally resenting diabetes, thinking surely this behaviour is due to being HIGH, that ticked me off more. Turns out he was dropping with the activity, on his way to a hypo and Im pulling him off a chair as hes about to dive out the window. Grabbing him by his coat to stop him running off into the carpark. Toddler behaviour and D together just blows. Its hard work. He slept through last night, no breast feeding so self weaning is finally happening, and I was up every 3 hours, irrationally of course, testing. He held.
Every day at lunch weve got hypos to treat before he can eat real food. I hate that I have to give full sugar anything to my not yet 2 year old.
Weve had a 1.9 which is the second lowest reading we've had since Diabetes showed up. Hubby had just left the house for a night at a Thai boxing gig and I was wrapping up my jam making for the afternoon. It was comical, jam and jars and boiling water bath, jar and lid lifters and tongs and towels. Damn its messy work. I actually had Reubs in my mind, thinking I'll tidy up here and go to where hes napping and pop a quick test.
I wasnt expecting a 1.9, as only 2 hours earlier he had registered as 10.2. Perfect to go down to a nap at. Guess the read wasnt from slow acting carbs? Anyway, I heard my dog make a short sharp woof at the bedroom door. Obviously she was calling me. Shes done this before after staking vigil at Reubens bedside.
I tip toe in, and I see him laying peacefully, but something is different. Hes twitching. His tiny little hand shakes and I get a shot of adrenalin, grab him a drink and he sculls the whole thing. Then I test him. About 10 mins passes and thats when I get the 1.9. He begins to scream, obviously the sugar is kicking in and hes confused. This is the stage when I have to get aggressive to get the sugar into him, he refuses and hes strong. Flailing and vocal and glucogel is spread all up his face and hair after spitting it back at me. The reading isnt budging.
It takes 30mins and a bunch of dodgy readings to get him back up to a 7.8.
The peace I made with D is fleeting. Today I loathe it. A big ugly cry and a call to hubby for some comforting words, and now an arvo storm... the world seems better.
Slow living is going great. Its helping on the D front.
Today we collected our second egg (they are BIG eggs) from our chooks. So nice to be part of the chain again, plugged into food production, the earth, simpler methods of living. Less rush and complication and more peace and quiet. Amen to that !