The exorcist, Aztecs and Anxiety

His body writhed and his arms punched the air, presumably trying to lash at me and make me stop.  He repeatedly screeched Heelp heeelp helppp! and threw his head from side to side with gusto.
Restraining his arms and legs and trying to get his head still was almost impossible to execute.   Beads of sweat formed on my forehead from the exertion.

And then it happened.

It was the horrible.

Like something from the exorcist.   My beautiful sweet son gurgled and projectile spat his antibiotics, which I had only just administered, right into my face.   The pink pungent goop ran down my face and neck leaving some markings Basquiat would be proud of.   Who wouldve thought 5mls would feel like so much when hit in the eye with it?

I was cranky.   This isnt my first rodeo with Reuben and antibiotics he wont swallow.   This past week he has gotten a staph infection... in his eye.  :(      We have to give this horrendous stuff to him every 6 hours and the dr wants to see him again Thurs to make sure its clearing.  

Yesterday I thought I'd get sneaky after a night of him spitting the medicine, and surreptitiously administer inside some coke.  My sister even agreed it was worth a try.  Coke is to my kids what Gold and Cocoa were to the Aztecs.   Mixed together I kidded myself it looked like a cherry coke.   Yummy, right?!    Obviously didnt taste that way,  as Reubs is a smart little cookie, he screwed up his nose, dumped the bottle no matter how much pleading I did.   Imagine my pissed-off-ed-ness  surprise when he went to the fridge for his sugar free lemonade instead!

This blog is going somewhere - I promise!  

Curiously if I had to sum up life with a diabetic child in one word - it wouldnt be difficult, tiring or even bittersweet.

Before you peek at my answer...   what word would you use to describe being a D-rent/Type 3 or a Type 1/2 as the case may be....

...Id emphatically say life with a diabetic child has been...
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ANXIOUS.

It sucks ass.  You worry non stop and for very good reason.   This disease dictates to you all day and night and threatens your child with yucky dangerous symptoms and complications.

Your mind isnt free to rest.

So the dialogue on a normal day is pretty busy busy.

The dialogue when your 2 year old has a nasty spreading staph infection in his eye ball where he MUST take antibiotics to clear it up, OR (this is where anxiety goes into hyper-drive because you know the rest of the story) the OR is we end up in hospital, hubby has time off work, R has a drip in his arm with a IV dose of antibiotics, and hes more miserable than if he'd just submit and swallow the damn medicine!

Then theres the things I havent ever thought of before but since things like having a child with Type 1 Diabetes happen to "other people" and Im now one of those "other people"...   they pop in to visit occassionally...

being hit by lightning/hale/flying debris in a storm
a small plane/big plane/fighter jet/helicopter crashing out of the sky
a tree falling on you in a storm
a tree falling on power lines and falling on you or your house
a tree falling on your car
and on it goes ... 

until you say STOP.
 Really.   I have to say enough.

Some things I can cross off the list if Im reasonable enough.

I called the electricity company about the tree branches hanging over the power lines, and we dont go out in storms.   That eliminates at least numbers 1,3 and 4.

I decided you wonderful people are right, I need more sleep.    I need rest to cope with the demands of diabetes.  I need to insist on time away from the constant care, where I switch off.    Last night I even dreamed for the first time, of diabetes.   I was testing myself in my freaking sleep!!

Gotta draw that line.