I needed a laugh today. Or a drink. I chose the laugh. Ironically I dont think Chuck Norris really has diabetes?
We are still recovering from illness here. Thats tiring in itself.
Truth be told Im still recovering from diagnosis! I really have no words to explain how tired this disease can make you. How tired I get from thinking about diabetes. Numbers, food, his exercise. Thinking about why the numbers are good. Thinking about why the numbers are bad. Why the numbers are swinging. And its practically unavoidable for say...um another 17 years?
No words to explain my worry for whats going on inside of Reuben that I cannot see or know unless I stab him with a spring loaded needle that plunges into his sweet soft baby skin, then I squeeze until theres a big enough droplet of blood for the meter.
Then he starts counting. (yes the meter is a HE) 5.. 4.. 3..I begin cringeing about now... 2..oh cripes, the judgemental bastard... 1... then it either says you are going ok, you are doing a shit job or quick eat some carbs! The accusatory beeps. Im feeling some post traumatic stress disorder in relation to the darned beeping on the BGM's.
just a snapshot. Dang we do this 24/7/365.
I wake up and reach for the meter. No good morning honey. My eyes open and theres the dang meter. I give insulin shots before leaving my bedroom for a toilet stop, because the Levemir morning dose takes a while to kick in, its best given straight away so its there in the background before breakfast. (for R that is). Its sad my baby gets a poke in the bum with a needle before he gets a warm drink :( :( : ( Its sad that this is my first 5 minutes of every day.
Reubs knows how to open his blood glucose monitor case, arange a strip so that it enters the slot at the bottom! He can also say TEST. Sad I know. This is his existence. I wonder just how and when he will begin communicating Low and High feelings to me? Enough on that.