Fancy a Farktum? Or cheap meatballs?

For those of you familiar with Danger Dad  - hes actually got a second quite fitting persona, affectionately and aptly named 'Tight ASS'   'Frugal Dad'.    Hes the version that waits until Tuesday to get DVD's for the kids.   Why?   Beccause its $1 weeklies and $2 new releases.    Fortunately to go along with $2 Tuesdays, the local pizza joint  four doors down has $5 large pizzas.  

We see new flicks and eat pizza until we have to adjust our belts all on TIGHT ASS FRUGAL TUESDAY.  Danger Dad just likes a bargain.  Why pay full price!  is his motto. 

Tonight we went down to Ikea.   We stroll along without any real intentions of buying furniture, maybe a few knick knacks, doo dads or thingymagigs..my personal favourites..  

Tonight I was almost convinced I needed a little tea light candle lantern.   

OOhhh the doo dads.   I mean, an avocado slicer  is a good buy for $3, right? .... RIGHT?    It helps you to slice avocadoes.   Better than you could with a knife. 

Say you were catering a large crowd, wouldnt that just be swell and dandy to whip out your Ikea Avo slicer :)     Truthfully, Ive used it once, it was infact rubbish at slicing avo's.   Perhaps it was something else?     

I just thought it was, but afterall it WAS labeled in Swedish..  Dont start me on the Ikea product names, they are freaking hilarious.  Remember the Barnslig or the Jerker?  The Jerker was a desk.   My personal favourites are the Fukta plant spray and Fartfull workbench.   The new Lyckhem? Not seen that yet.  Wonder if that will be a hot seller?  Hahahaha. The ever popular Farktum,  Duktig,  or Danger Dads new fave the Bumerang clothes hangers!!!
   
So today being TIGHT ASS TUESDAY theres also a special down at Ikea.   The cafe they have instore has a Swedish meatball and mash deal for $3 something or other.   Bargain.   We put the 2 older kids into the kiddy play area for an hour for free, while we head to the cafe to eat in peace (ANOTHER BONUS).  We get four plates of food for $20.  Im merrily munching away and feeding Reuben balls and mash from my plate and chatting, and out of the corner of my eye  I see Danger Dad/Frugal Dad whipping out a container from a plastic bag he has produced from the diabetes supply bag.   Im thinking 'WTF?'.    And chanelling my inner Reyna I muttered much like I imagine her saying it, minus the mascara ...'FFS!'   

He is stealthily moving meatballs, mash, chips and chicken schnitzels from the store plates to his plastic containers to take home (for work tomorrow he explains) with dexterity, poise and ninja ability.  

Im both proud and mortified at this point.   I mean, he paid for the food...why not?    And omg, is he really doing THAT ?   I pretended not to see what he was doing, and carried on eating with my face turning a gorgeous beetroot-ish shade,   lol.

So my frugal husband is heading through the checkouts and sees a sign that says $1 hot dogs, $1 softdrinks, and .50c icecream cones.   He cannot pass this one up.

Im embarrased people might recognise us as the people who stuffed themselves upstairs, and see us for the frauds we are, not actually wanting to look at their furniture, just eat their cheap food!

Balancing 5 hotdogs with sauce, a refillable softdrink and 5 icecream cones, we sit and try to relax. 

My kids begin screeching at top volume.  

Look at the hair!   Great - they are both turning and pointing.

Its purple.

Ok Ive heard them and I want to silence them.  I give them a subtle 'look'.   Nope, subtle doesnt work on my kids.   Maybe I should acknowledge their observation and they will be quiet.

Yes kids, purple hair.   Very purple.   Okay. Hope that did it.
Its purple that lady has purple hair!   Shes now incorporated jumping and pointing into this embarrasing performance.
No, Jo Jo, thats a man, yells her brother in a voice that could be heard across the oceans.
No, Bub its a lady. A laaaaaaaaaaaady.
Me yelling, shut UP kids.

Im hoping that if I have a look they will simmer down.   I turn to look at said purple haired shopper, a cranky looking emo with black and purple striped hair, standing oh, half a meter away from us.   (How embarrassed was I that I couldnt settle this dispute, I was too tired and ashamed to say I couldnt actually tell if it was a man or a woman.  But I can confirm the annoyed purple haired emo, had hair that was incredibly purple.  And they had heard every word...eek.)

This is just one of many episodes in my existence where I feel like the only semi-civilised member of my family.