Look Im up at 3am. No biggie right? We all get up sometimes. During. Those. darkest. Hours. so You get up to pee? Im up agonising over another needle in his tHigh. Yeah he cannot sleeping without Pricks n jabs. I need to decide while im half asleep just How much insulin i need to give him. I have sleep in my eyes. A headache from broken sleep. Knots in my stomach. Dry mouth. Racing chest. Racing brain.
i worry and second guess my chosen dose. I even retest to be sure.
Hes dependent on me Being up like this. Being his pancreas.
Being afraid for him...knowing all too well the risks of this drug i am in charge of administering.
Tonight i stay awake to see What the correction dose has done. Lets be honest.
Insulin can and does become lethal.
I encourage You to head over to beta buddies If You Havent already as Reyna blogged more eloquently Than i could. Love You! also do read the princess and the pump.
I get angry When diabetes is trivialised. Its a scary awful grind. No choice. Hour to Hour. Day by day. Needle to Needle. Test to test. Theres no cure. Just life support in the form of a stinky drug and Loving families.
The fact is People die from diabetes.