Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sickness sucks

My baby is in hospital.  I feel like a bit of a failure like I just couldnt do it - maybe I shouldve brushed up on my mini glucagon dosing or whatever and I just gave up.   Then on the other hand I tell myself hes so little, this is new terrain, we did the right thing.   He was dehydrated. Unable to eat. It was like torturing him trying to syringe tiny amounts of panadol and lucozade in his mouth.    Then came the breast refusal.   Yup something is r e a l l y wrong when he wont even take boobie milk!   Even if we couldve treated the lows, he had ketones we couldnt flush and an underlying illness.

After days of this gastro virus and vomitting and refusal to eat, we called an ambulance in the middle of the night to transport Danger Dad and my baby to the kids hospital.  Its heart breaking watching your small child being strapped onto a stretcher perched on DD's lap, drive off to the hospital.     DD said Reubens eyes told the story he KNEW about the hospital.  He knew what was coming.   But theres the decision, pain at the hospital or repeated dangerous hypos with ketones at home :( :( :(    If only I could take it all away for him.

Hes been there 2 days now and the verdict is he wont eat because of gastro, and cant swallow from sore tonsils and mouth ulcers (?) Im not a doctor...   He cant come home until hes taking all his food by mouth again so they can gradually decrease the sugar in his drip.   Hes getting antibiotics and panadol, and much needed fluids.   I think we made the right choice.    I do however know the struggle hes going through being tied to the machine and how awful cannulas , on top of the symptoms of illness:(

Im trying to keep things in order on the home front, my daughter vomitted on the couch, in the car, in my study....   Shes got her trusty spew bowl handy again today just in case. But her temps seem down and she was great for my sister yesterday.

I got the dreaded call from school.   My only healthy child seemed to have discomfort, perhaps a bladder infection?  Im definately going to fall in a heap at this rate.   My wonderful sister (thankyou thankyou) rang around, got him an appointment and took him to the dr, who advised hes fighting some viral thing...another day off school for him.   Josephine stopped vomitting and has kept food down, but now shes snotty and coughing and just randomly stacking it - you know when walking seems too much effort?

I thought that my first night at home without Reuben since diagnosis I may get a sleep, but I was up tending to the other kids, playing musical beds (no, not the fun version with cheery music!) mine included high temps, vomitting, crying and lots of cuddles!   

So this is my 'omg sickness sucks' post, or 'omg diabetes and sickness that sucks do not mix' post. Or 'champagne is ok when used for medicinal purposes when sickness that sucks is rampant in your house' post.

Maybe when everyones better I'll be able to look on the bright side.    Right now its just one foot in front of the other until we take this sickness down!  (haha excuse the ufc joke, my husbands a huge fan!)

Im having Mum make the 4 hr drive back down here to help out (Thank God). 


  1. Oh wow... things sound so crazy for you right now. I am so sorry you have to deal with all that illness and D added to the mix. I got tears in my eyes when you described watching the ambulance take Reuben away. I can't imagine how gut-wrenching that is.

    And don't beat yourself up, D and sickness in ANY kiddo is hard, let alone a baby. I've been there. I know. You did the right thing. The hospital is equipped to give him the help he needs. I pray that he feels better soon. HUGS from the other side of the world.

  2. You're not a failure--you are doing the right thing and acting in the best interests of your baby, so that is never a fail! Plus it sounds like you've got a lot to deal with at home. Hope your kiddos feel better soon!

  3. Jeezum Crow Jules - you are getting a big ol' foot up your arse!!! Man. I am soooo sorry. I hope Reubs is feeling better soon...along with your daughter...and that the UTI clears up too.

    I VOTE for medicinal champagne. My only regret would be not to be there to slug it down with you as we tackled your kids and house to keep everything and one in order. (((HUGS)))

  4. My goodness! Hang in there!! Hope they feel better soon!

  5. Jules, I'm so sorry baby Reubs is in the hospital but they will take good care of him. You are the best mom, ever!

  6. Just found your blog. Sounds like you are having a tough time right now. I hope tings get better fast.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog. I found the cakemate (can be found with decorative icing for cakes at your local grocery store) or mine might be glucose gel at Walmart in the pharmacy. You can also use honey packets (next time you go out for breakfast or some coffee shops have them stash a few extra in your purse)

  7. Hi Jules,
    I'm so glad your son got to the hospital and they can take care of him. It's probably a little bit easier on you knowing that they can get food and hydrate him. It's so hard to have to go to the hospital, but then you can a least usually feel better that he's getting the help he needs.
    By the way, my sister just got back from australia a few days ago. I told her if she ran into a blogger name jules to say hi, but I guess she didn't. She had a wonderful time, and thinks the men are so much more manly and chivalrous there. I think she wants to move there and get married. She felt a little bit like a celebrity being a visiting American.

  8. lol. tell her my brother is single... !!

  9. Oh I am so sorry that your little one had to go back to the hospital. YOU ARE NOT failing!! This is excatly what I would have done. Hello mini glucagon is only going to work in the short term. My little guy almost went back on the excat 1 year anniversary of the Diabetes. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!! I hope you know that we are here across the world from you praying for you and hoping you knwo that you are doing the right thing! As Joanne said the hospitals are equpped for these things and as much as it stinks to have him away from you right now he is getting all the medical attention he needs.
    Big hugs and prayers sent to you from Virginia

  10. Sorry to hear you're going through this. Hospital was definitely the right choice.

    When F has had a gastro virus with low sugars and high ketones we've really struggled to keep the insulin up to get rid of the ketones while he's not taking food. And we have a gastrostomy tube into his stomach (thanks to his heart condition) that we can shove food in even if he refuses but if it just goes straight through him with little absorption then IV sugars at the hospital are the only option.

    At those times glucagon is only used to keep his sugars up long enough to drive him to hospital.

    And yes, the thought of such a tiny wee man going through the nightmare of a cannula being inserted into his vein is awful but it needs to be done. He'll have forgotten long before you've got over the trauma.

    I hope all your children get over their illnesses quickly. Then that champagne will taste great!

  11. Hoe overwhelming! I'm so sorry. If or helps. I don't like to take chances with key tones and would rather pay hospital bills ro be safe. DKA just scares me. The one thing I hate the most about diabetes is how sickness becomes such an emergency. I'm weird I guess but I used to like babying my sick kids. It was like a bonding time. Now I honestly fear illness and feel the disease has stolen part of my motherhood away.
    I will keep your sweet little one in my prayers. Please keep us posted.

  12. Jules I hope he's home and all your kiddos are on the mend. How awful to go through this. Glad to know your mum is so close to help out. I know without my sis and mom things would be a much sadder more difficult story for us with it all.
    Hope you're getting rest and are able to fight off the virus yourself, too :)

  13. Oh you poor thing! But hospital is best - at least someone else can sort out what to do - that weight gets lifted off you for a bit (even though you have the added burden of a child in hospital). Sucks about not getting sleep though. You are a fantastic mother. Know that!

  14. OMGsh! I've missed so much! You absolutely did the right thing, my friend! You can only do so much at home before it's time to seek help. Great job, Mum! FOLLOW THOSE INSTINCTS!